To Someone I See Every Morning
Couple months of 2021 have passed, I still see you every morning, I always pay attention to the look on your face everyday, I can feel what your feels, and I remember all the looks, still very clear and detailed in my memory. Like I said, the look on your face always impacting my emotions, everyday. Did you remember when I said bad words to you? I think, started from two years ago. Ya, I did it lot to you, like almost everyday.
Remember that? I said “I hate you, I really want to punch you, you’re so stupid, I hate you so much!” . I know it’s super rude, and you must hate me because of that. You listened to my bad words in these couple years, I think I still talk like that to you last month, I really sorry about that. But you know why I said that to you, right? I feel everything what you feels, yes I know it doesn’t mean I can say those words to you, I’m sorry, I really sorry. I just . . . I won’t you to be sad and depressed like that, I know you are going through a lot of things in your life. That is the reason why you are showing that face. and I think it got worse because I also couldn’t do anything to make it better at that point. but now I have something to tell you, I realised something after these events happened in your life, our life. Before I say it, I want us to flash back and look back at the events that have taken place one by one. Like . . .
Around five years ago, that’s when your face starts to show sadness and stress, every day. In fact, I often saw teardrops coming out of that face. It was the time when you lost your sister, when all the bitter things in your life come one by one, like family, healthy, work life and even relationship issues, and all those troubles strike you when you are still not strong enough to fight. I have seen that faces, all has same faces, and that makes me so sad. Even though you never showed that face to all your friends and relatives, but I saw it clearly everyday. You can hide those from others, but you can’t hide it in front of me. The point is, I still saw that face, couple weeks ago, why? why you still sad, after you’ve been through a few things, can’t it make you a little happy?
Okay at this point, we agree that you have gotten through a lot of those troubles, I’m happy for that, I really happy, I can see it, starting from last year, I have seen those happy faces, although not everyday I can see them, but at least good things happen too, and those are the results of your struggle so far. Congratulations!
So what made you sad and made me hate you again?
Ya, I know that, why you sad lately, I know what’s been going on in your life lately, and it’s sad, I know it. And I also know why I hate you, it’s because you can’t make yourself happy, I really hate that!
But, I realized that I totally wrong, it’s not because of you, it’s because of me. Because of me, you become like this. So this is what I’m going to tell you, listen up.
“I’m sorry, I forgot something very important, why it’s important? that’s the key to making you happy even if you have a lot of problems. If I had realised it early, maybe you wouldn’t be sad that long,“
“I’m sorry. . . I’m sorry that I forgot it, I’m sorry that I forgot to love you!”
“I should love you as much as I love them, I should more pay attention to you, and I should love you no matter what, I should not hate you for what you’ve been through, I should not hate you for what you can’t do, I should . . . “
“I should love you! I should show you that you’re not alone, that there’s someone who love you when you feel you lonely in this world, I should love you and thank you for what have you done.”
“And I promise you, starting today, I will pay more attention to you, I will love you and never make you down. I will make you happy!”
“Because you’re important to me, you’re my world and YOU ARE ME! :)”
*I’m talking to myself in front of mirror*
To all of you who read this, thanks for read this story, and I want to say something to you “don’t forget to love yourself, as much as you love others who important in your life. Because if you can’t love yourself, who can do that? Only you, the one who really know well who you are and you’re deserve to be happy! :)”
Make your self a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary
Thank You for reading, have a nice day! :)